Now look at an answer to a Task 2 question. In this question learners were asked to discuss why people travel more these days and to think about the benefits of travel.
Here’s one student’s answer:
Most people today would like travel in different places. A few decades ago, only the rich can afford to travel since they can spend more. There are several reasons why the number of travellers have been increasing.
First, there is a healthy competition in the transport industry. Long ago, there are only few airline companies so they control and monopolize the industry. Today there are a lot of airline companies and this is the reason why the price of airfare became affordable. Airline companies, nowadays, have their own websites so that it can entice new customers to use their services. They also lowered the ticket prices by developing promotional fares which is beneficial for the customers. Another reason is convenience. People today can use the internet to search their preferred tourist destination. They can also view the best route to maximize the cost of travel and time. Electronic maps are also available in the internet.
There are several benefits that a traveller can get through travelling. Initially, the traveller can eat some exotic foods and see new sights. The individual can also experience new culture and traditions. These new experiences can give the traveller new insights on life and the environment.
In my own experience, visiting Thailand with my mother was such a wonderful experience. I was hesitant at first because I knew beforehand that ticket prices for that destination are pricey. I changed my mind when I saw the promotional fare of Cebu Pacific in their website. After we booked the flight, I then searched the internet for our hotel accomodations. We really enjoyed the trip when we visited some Buddhist temple.
To sum it up, more people would like to travel because of its advantages. Furthermore, the trend will keep on increasing in the future.
mysap2015 - Strengthen myself with SAP 
This General Writing Task 2 is an essay looking at the growth in travel for leisure purposes, and various aspects related to that. This task requires at least 250 words. And this example has a total of 297, which is fine. This is a strong essay, clearly at an advanced level. And overall, the effect on the reader is a very positive one. In terms of task completion, it deals with all the parts of the task and develops the response as well, expanding on the basic points with relevant supporting information, personal detail, and extended consideration of specific areas. It’s coherent, well-organized, and easy to follow, with lots of examples of effective and appropriate language. Overall, the cohesion is well-managed.
Paragraphing is logical and effective. Although the concluding paragraph does not sum up and draw together the preceding points as well as it should, which would probably have a slight negative impact on the score in this area. In terms of lexical resource, a wide range of vocabulary is used confidently, with a strong awareness of style and collocation in examples like “their preferred tourist destination,” “can give the traveller new insights,” “I was hesitant at first,” “I knew beforehand,” and so on. There are some inaccuracies, such as using accommodations instead of accommodation, which is also misspelled. At the very beginning, would like travel in different places, and later on, in the internet rather than on the internet.
But overall, the range and accuracy of the vocabulary is strong. In terms of grammatical accuracy, things are a little more mixed.
range of grammatical structures are used, but there are errors. For example, in the opening paragraph where it says, “a few decades ago, only the rich can afford to travel since they can spend more.” In the second paragraph as well, there are more lapses in using the past tense with the sentence “Long ago there are only a few airline companies, so they control and monopolise the industry.” This would certainly impact on the band awarded in this area. But overall, as I said, it’s a strong, well-organized, and effective essay.
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